It is one o’clock in the morning and the bulgar alarm in my home ringing. Immediately I feel the shortness of breath, the spaghetti noodle legs but my mind is clear going through a check list. What am I hearing? Where’s Bella Qi? (My dog). How am I going to be safe? This is 7 years after “robbery at gunpoint” and my post traumatic stress is alive and kicking. It turned out that Bella Qi was outside and I had left the door unlock. Being the industrious and every clever canine that she is, she opened the door.
PSTD is situational, not present everyday and not present forever. I haven’t had to “manage” it for a long time. For the next few days, I am back into my tool. The Soul Inspired Tune Up emerged as I was recovering so many years ago and it helps me now. Breathe! What am I feeling? What is emerging? I Am Divine Magnificence. Love me for where I am right now.
How you emerge from your situation is a very personal and private process. Seven years ago I was one of what I call, “The Red Lips” professional. I would suit up every morning, put on my favorite shade of red lipstick and do the deed of being a very proficient and exceptional “go to” executive. People were telling me that, “I looked incredible.” Inside I was crumbling inside.
This work chronicles my life. It has literally allowed me to emerge in my remembering as a spiritual intuitive and writer. It also has allowed me to remember that I am not my situation. It has opened me to beauty, smiles and laughter. Experiencing joy is back in my life. I dream or at least have had the courage to dream from my soul again.
I AM grateful to the wisdom that has allow me this space to be who I AM with honor, grace and love. I AM grateful to have discovered the peace that ignites the love and creativity within me.
Nameste.